(Orig. published April 10, 2020)
In a desperate attempt to rise above his fate as a sidewalk musician, Lenny the Grinder recently moved to Rhode Island to offer his services to the newly empowered state police, one source says.
Recent news reports of New Yorkers sneaking across the border to the Ocean State attracted the long-time owner of HONR network, whose new passion is making sure everyone is safe.
“HONR was all about censorship,” said Lenny recently on a sidewalk in Bridgeport. “But safety is even more important than ridding the Internet of alternative points of view.”
Lenny the Grinder was quickly scooped up by the harried R.I. Travel Crime division and offered a position on local golf courses where he hunts down elderly duffers from New York and Connecticut posing as RI residents. “It’s a tough job being outside all day chasing carts and ducking golf balls. But it’s a personal sacrifice I’m willing to make,” says the Grinder.
The former New Yorker says he doesn’t regret pulling old people off the fairway, cuffing them and and bringing them in. He cites the tragic statistics of COVID-19 cases that originated on the golf course, where many golfers, in their zeal, forgot the six-foot rule in the pro shop and on the course. “You just can’t be too careful in today’s dangerous world,” he says.
This is not the first time Lenny has been a friend to law enforcement or a foe to elderly people living in proximity to golf courses. He says he will continue his important work as long as Rhode Island will have him on their greens.
“It feels right,” Lenny says.